Round Abouts….

Or there abouts!

Apparently they do not have electricity on the other side of the pond and because of this they control traffic in a quaint old English way; with roundabouts and they are everywhere, on small streets, big streets, on no streets, in the hotels, parks….I mean everywhere!

These could never be used in the States as between the South Americans, Asians, Canadians and “Snowcones” (not to mention me), would cause complete and total CHAOS!

Just imagine all these folks going around and around and around for days…..

Numbered Speed signs?

These are also not needed in the UK as they get away with Circles with a line thru it or red cross but my very favorite is the writing on the street that tells you where you are suppose to go (or not)….as in “No Entry” upside down.

Directions?

Also not needed as they will give you the same type of directions that Cubans give when you ask to come visit.

Americans use these novel things called street signs, us not so much.

Non Cuban person; “Hi, how do I get to your place?”

American; “Hi, simple, take 37th ave north to 8th st, make a right on 8th st and on the first left, park in the back, I’ll meet you at the door.

NCP; “Cool see you in a bit”

BTW; Where did I just take you to?

Same Directions given by my people…….

Non Cuban Person; “Hi, how do I get to your place”

My People; ‘Conjo, como tu jodes, don’t you know Miami?”

NCP; “Que?”

MP; “Ok, you know the street where Sears is? Go up like if you were going to the flea market, you are going to pass a Publix’s and when you see the old guy selling mamocillos on Calle Ocho, head towards Home Depot. I am across the street from where they make seat covers.”

NCP; Ok, see you in a couple of hours”

BTW; Directions to the same place……cafecito anyone?

But in the UK, you can not use street signs.

WHY?

First you cannot see them as sometimes they are on the side of buildings but most of the time they are nowhere PLUS every block they change the name of them…which will leave you with these little tidbits for directions:

“Go under the foot bridge and we are on the right” (York, England)
“Cheers Mate, castle will be on left” (Edinburgh, Scotland)
“We are by the long John fish house” (Belfast, Ireland)
“Take high Castle rd, not old Castle rd” (Dublin, Ireland)

But the best from the trip…..

“Go over the train bridge and when you get to the “roundabout” stay straight and you’ll see our hotel”

What this really meant was:

Go OVER a small bridge that goes UNDER the train bridge and then you will see the street right in front of you (no roundabout) that leads to the hotel. (Bath, England)

Easiest place to get to?

London…..we took a cab AND even he drove by the hotel!!!!!!!!!

BTW; I PAD..Google Maps……Buena Mierda.

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