So most of you know that I can control the weather, usually it involves my vacations and hurricanes.

BUT

Did you know I also control what time your trash or recycle is going to be picked up?

You didn’t did you.

Here’s how it works.

IF I take out my Trash/Recycle Bin the evening before pick up, the trash folks come late in the day BUT  IF I do not take out the Trash/Recycle Bin the evening before they come….at [email protected]#$%^ Dawn.

Like this morning where I figured it’s recycle day, they never show up early, I have time…Nope

Around 6:30AM, I’m nice and toasty in bed when I hear the squeaking brakes of that Blue monster and I jump out of bed and scurry down the stairs (another story just came to mind) and run outside, grab the bin and…..miss the truck cause they already passed by….

Now since I have experience in this little show, I walk across the street and place the Bin on the other side of the road WHICH ensures that it will now be picked up somewhere around 5 PM.

Another true story and this one goes back years, I also control the stock and commodities market.

Back in my Baking days we accumulated large quantities of Cardboard, it was just a thing we did. In an effort to be “Green” (This was way before it was popular) I decided to be the ONLY business to install a Big Blue container so that we could recycle all of the Cardboard that we accumulated.

So for the longest time we would neatly pile up the Cardboard in the bin and EVERY single day some dudes in Pick Up trucks would jump in the bin and take all the cardboard, not kidding this went on for years.

Well since the Bin was never full and the Company that I hired never really had anything to pick up I cancelled the service and…….you guessed it.

The very next day the Cardboard market plummeted and NO ONE would pick up the cardboard.

Stock Market?

I got out at 18.2, want me to make it crash???

Blue Bins @Gotta Jav Miami

But not for this little dude…

Hanging out in the hood…

Foxes @Gotta Jav Miami

Except for this guy…

You are about to read a real email exchange between a Real Estate Agent and yours truly. I have removed the agents name because it would be wrong to out this [email protected]#$%^&*(But he must be important because his last name contains 3 I’s)

He starts with this as the “Subject” Line:

y’all are seriously lazy (apparently Triple I is from the south) and continues with….

“So I used Show Assist (why not just put Erica’s # in the Broker Remarks?), and Erica reminds me that tomorrow is New Years Day (Thanks for reminding me. I should review my priorities and wait until Feb. to be productive), and can I please call back to reschedule later in the week?

I noticed she didn’t say she was out of the country or state.

All you have to do with listings, to make the same amount of money as the SELLING agent, is to put the thing on Lockbox and receive the offers. 

It’s easy, dude.”

My client is is looking for an immediate lease.

Which I replay with;

Really?

Happy New Year.

J

Which gets me this piece of wordsmithing….

Maybe your assistant needs an assistant for when, like, she can’t, like show it.

Or a supra would be great.

enjoy your new year, bro

Which got him this reply from me:

Again, really?

I wish you the best in this business…

J

Which got me no reply and yes the “I wish you the best in this business” was harsh on my part.

BUT Lets recap Triple I’s observations, with my comments below each one.

1; “y’all are seriously lazy”

We manage over 100 properties for our clients, Lazy is not one of the words that folks would associate to us.

2; “So I used Show Assist (why not just put Erica’s # in the Broker Remarks?)”

We use show assist because it registers any agent looking at the property and allows us to follow up with any questions (not lazy but not taking the extra step to look a show assist is)

3; “I should review my priorities and wait until Feb. to be productive”

You should, New Years Day??? How about one of the few days you spend with family? 

And if it takes you till February to be productive….get out of Real estate.

4; “I noticed she didn’t say she was out of the country or state.”

No clue where triple I was going with this, but I’m pretty sure I know.

5; “to make the same amount of money as the SELLING agent”

Make a bet right now Triple I that if you are working on New Years Day as an agent….I’m doing way better than you.

6; “It’s easy, dude”

Never easy, just see what kind of agents I have to deal with

7; “My client is is looking for an immediate lease.”

THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE RED FLAG IN REAL ESTATE LEASING….When you hear this RUN.

8; “Maybe your assistant needs an assistant for when, like, she can’t, like show it.”

Like, great grammar here.

9; “Or a supra would be great.”

Triple I must be use to “just showing up” and killing a deal (easy) but maybe just maybe he should do his home work and realize that not every HOA allows Supra’s or LBX’s so that random people can access properties….but that would involve “work”.

10; And that my name is “Dude & Bro”

What up Harold?

Sorry I could not resist.

Tip for Triple I, be nice in 2018 and you may get by as a Real Estate agent…

Happy New Year @Gotta Jav Miami

 

We were invited to participate in this years Strut for the main reason that I have a jeep with big wheels.

As you can see there is a big sign in front and our group was doing an NRA parody.

Now this was the good picture….(Thank you Grape)

BUT

For those of you that may want to “tarnish” my stellar “political” image, there may be a photo out there that shows me behind my jeep smiling with a beer in one hand, a hang loose in the other……

and…..

I forgot….

That there was also a sign attached to the back of the jeep that lets just say….

No one should smile or hang loose at!

When someone from the crowd tried to save me from myself by calling out “Hey why you smiling”?

I said It’s a Parade!

And now you know why I’ll never be elected….

Before you smile, read @Gotta Jav Miami”

 

To Me

Usually there are photos of exotic Whiskey’s on this momentous day but this year we went all in on the Golf thing.

New Shoes, Shirts, Clubs but still the same old swing problems…

Those are AP3’s (really nice) but did you notice the little dark stain on the upper left?

That’s what we would call a “Divot” mark and a Divot should NOT be going left, it should be Straight (or better.. just a hair right) and since it’s left that means that my pre Hip replacement swing is in full force….no bueno.

So as my brother loves to tell me “A’int the arrows, but the Indian” (and I probably just offended someone).

Need a new golf swing @Gotta Jav Miami

Now,

I was going to post a picture of my MIL (mother in law) dressed up as Ms. Santa but since there is a photo out there of me in an Elf suit….

Détente

Santa thinks @Gotta Jav Miami may have been naughty!