Sort of…

So today the Real Deal held a luncheon with a panel discussion of some local movers and shakers (and after hearing what I did, I am glad I am not one of them) and we got to listen to these folks speak about what they feel the future of the Grove’s Core will look like in a few years.

While I was hoping to learn some new things, I honestly did not as I am in tune with most of the projects coming on line but I did get to listen to one of the most racist comments said that is driving the Grove Core’s direction.

It went something like this…

One of the panel members, while waxing poetry about the future of the Grove went on about how there are 6000 kids in local schools and they are trying to “capture” the parents to stay in the Grove.

Nice, makes sense.

BUT

Here is where it gets dicey….

The panel member also went on to say “that around 3200 of those kids go to private schools and you know the quality of their parents”

Dear Mike Comras,

You pompous #$%^#@#$.

I did not go to a private school and I can tell you one thing, my parents were of the highest quality and they instilled in me a sense of decency and fairness that see’s the “Quality” in all folks.

Maybe you should take a look at your upbringing, cause the sad part is…..You believe what you say.

You poor soul.

“Gotta Jav Miami”

 

He was born in Nebraska.

Whats this got to do with anything?

Nada, just a post to bring awareness to all that is corn….

Hondurans “Gotta Jav Miami”

As most of my readers know “Jav’s World” tends to be a form of therapy for me. Here I get to rant about stuff that I deal with while doing the Gig that I love and this keeps me sane, focused and probably out of jail.

So…

Since Erica and I work such a large swath of Miami-Dade (and Broward) we tend to see WAY more that your typical “Top Producer” or “Local Expert” or whatever the self centered realtor class is calling themselves these days.

We have decided to add a new section to our site titled “And the Rest of the World” and it will be filled with Real Estate stories offering information and insight into neighborhoods that make up this great big mosquito pit that I call Mee-Am-Mi.

We’ll try to keep away from the typical stories that you can pick up on other Real Estate sites and we’ll do our best to source stories on our own in the hopes of avoiding self serving industry pieces.

“Gee Jav that sounds like a big job, how are you going to manage that and all of your other duties?”

Good question and as some of you know I have a very talented Niece who is an amazing Realtor and fast Typer*

Which means that Erica will be running the show….

Keep an eye out for the change this coming week.

Soon the Rest of the World will be part of “Gotta Jav Miami”

 

*A “Typer” is someone who types way better than I….which is most folks.

Just a thought…

 

Because I am special (and a product of a “Torrecilla”), today I did what I should have done last week.

First some Background….

We got power back a few days ago but we still do not have any Interwebs / TV and we were told by some dude  in an ATT truck (and I believe him because he lives in Palmetto Bay and not in India) that until they fixed the famous “Mountaineer Pole” that they would not be able to connect our Interwebs / TV because of “liabilities”….

Now I’ll tell you about “Liabilities”!!!

As in I may be liable for killing my MIL (Mother in Law) if she keeps asking when she will get TV & Phone (More on this later) But I digress.

Back to the Torrecilla part.

Ana has been after me to find a way to get some TV for the MIL because she is worried that if the MIL is not entertained she may wig out (More on this later), she mentioned that she had heard of an “interior” TV antenna but since I refused to go the easy route, I went after an “Exterior” TV antenna.

I had just finished my yard work a few weeks ago so I had some extra 2 x 4’s and this is what I came up with…

Now it was time to put it to the test.

RCA promised that if I got this contraption on the roof and pointed it in the right direction I would get free HD Channels and after a few minutes I did have 21 HD Channels beaming into my MIL’s TV

Success!!!

I showed the MIL how to work the TV Clicker so that she could maneuver the Channels and after a few minutes of watching her new TV……..She fell sound asleep.

Now I know why Ana wanted the TV…

True Story!

RCA “Gotta Jav Miami”

 

So for most of us here in the 305, we have been dealing in what we natives call a few forced days off, others call it a hurricane.

Now the few days off are caused by the lack of electricity, interweb services and just the fact that we smell funny cause we refuse to take cold showers.

In short it sucks to be us….

BUT

Our trusty Real Estate board apparently has ELECTRICITY, INTERWEBS (they may smell funny) but they can take hot showers and they have No Clue. (nothing new here)

Below is a real email that I got yesterday threatening me with a 500.00 fine IF I did not update a Pending Sale / Expected Closing date.

And they “Highlighted” (in this case BOLD) the important parts…really.

Enjoy….

From: Sonnia Rodriguez-Pena
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2017 12:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Pending Sale Update Needed

 

REF: EXPIRED EXPECTED CLOSING DATE.

MLS: A10239525

Address: 2 America

List agent Public ID: 0705434

Status: Pending Sale

ECD: 09/15/2017

Good morning Javier Gonzalez,

The MLS is critical to your Real Estate success. We need your help in maintaining its accuracy. Please take the time to review your listing A10239525 / 2 America  and make the corrections necessary to provide close sale information, cancel your listing or update your Sale/Rental information and help provide a more accurate database. According to your listing, this property should have closed on 09/15/2017.

Please read the following options below:

****all listings must be modified to reflect a new ECD********

* If the property is no longer for sale or rent please place the listing on “C” for cancelled.

* If your listing has closed, provide the closed sale information by updating you listing in Matrix.

* If the listing is a Short Sale and needs additional closing time, please extending the ECD.

* Should your listing still be “Pending Sale” please update the ECD (EXPECTED CLOSING DATE).

 

*Failure to update your listing may result in a 500.00 fine per MIAMI’s MLS Rules and Regulations

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter

https://www.miamire.com/docs/default-source/mls/mls-fines.pdf?sfvrsn=24

 

Lets Recap:

Sonia is worried that I did not close on Friday the 15th (for obvious reasons) and if I don’t update my listing it will throw the whole MLS system into disarray causing all sorts of unimaginable catastrophes (sort of like a hurricane).

To steal a quote from a famous movie “Sonia my dear, I really don’t give a damn”

Best part of this story is that the property in question is a “Dock” in Coco Plum which may get 1 view a year and because it’s me…I have it on LockBox (this is for another story)

Sonia does not like “Gotta Jav Miami”

 

 

I admire folks who can work on the fly and get stuff done with limited supplies and the boys from West Virginia sure gave it a go this weekend.

We still don’t have power (nor interwebs) at home but this is a good sign that maybe, just maybe we’ll be getting it back soon.

This pole feeds the grid but as you can see it wants to fall down and f#$%^ up the whole “Get power back again” plan….

So the Mountaineers came up with this solution (and honestly it’s very “Torrecilla”)

First attach a heavy duty copper wire around post…

Then find somewhere to attach it to and start twisting till you get the pole upright…

I guess they figured since this tree did not fall, hell lets use it..

BTW, who is “Torrecilla”….That was my Old Man’s Nick Name (his family name) and he could come up with the most brilliant work arounds.

West Virginia Mountaineers (and my Old Man) “Gotta Jav Miami”

To complete the whole “wind event” experience I get this call today…

“Hey Jav, house down the street caught fire.”

Really?

Yup….

Never a dull day @ “Gotta Jav Miami”

So what do you do with Hurricane shutters once a Hurricane has passed?

Some folks store them until the next “wind event”, I on the other hand “Torrecilla” them.

Storm knocked down a palm, which then crushed my fence (in defense of the palm it was rotted out at the base).

What’s the Torrecilla?

Have panels? Si

Have a few deck screws? Si

Have a Cordless Drill? Si

Have a new fence…..Si

Shutters “Gotta Jav Miami”

EVER for Ana (and the MIL)

Folks ask me all the time (not really) with me being an expert in Miami living (AKA Urban Survival), why I do not own a Generator?

I always answer….Because I have an Apt on South Beach.

Which always gets a strange look until I explain that in my checked Urban Survival history….The Beach never loses power.

Went out yesterday morning when they lifted the evacuation order and lo and behold….we have a fully operation Condo unit!

As they sang in the Jefferson’s “We moving on up”

And the sunsets are not that bad…

Sobe is part of “Gotta Jav Miami”