How big a boat?

Every once in a while I’ll get these calls, they start out something like this and I love to play along:

Yachtsman (more on this later) “Hi, I was looking on the internets’ and came across your name and you seem to be pretty sharp and know all sorts of stuff about Real Estate”

Yep, that’s me “Mr know it all” (guy must really know me well)

YM; “Well I’m looking for waterfront home in Miami where I can put my boat

Me; “Ok, lets see are we looking for Condo or Single Family?”

YM; “Doesn’t matter, just need dock space for my boat; I’m going to do the Islands”

Me; “Alright, so how much dockage do you need (and here I show off my vast knowledge of things Nautical and bust out the sailing lingo, dropping all sorts of “west marine” terms).
Open Fish, Crusier, tuna tower, how much do you draw, in’s or outs..etc (BTW all of these are legitimate questions as I am trying to ascertain the Yachtsman’s needs and what type of water front he can use).

I don’t want to assume anything, so I ask a generic boat question.

Me again; “So what are we looking at, something like a 30′ open fish?”

YM; “Oh No, its at least 100ft, I want to cruise the Islands”

Me (under my breath); “Holy Shit”

Me Again; “Well then we are going to need open water and single family”

Me; “What kind of “Yacht” do you own? (more boat lingo)”

YM; “Oh I don’t own one yet, I’m in the market for one”

So we are looking for a home (that you don’t own) for a Boat (that you don’t own)….

And now the real fun begins………

Me; “So you don’t have the boat now?”

YM; “No, do you know anybody that sells them”

Now I’m also in the boat business.

ME; “I hear Tiger Woods might want to unload his.”

YM; “Huh”

Now you just know how this is going to end cause as of now I have not asked the magic question out of genuine “Miami” courtesy……But now I have to go for the gold.

Me; “So, what price range you looking at?”

YM; “Max 200k”

Me; “For the dock rental right”

YM; “Huh”

Me; “I’m sorry, your breaking up on me…..and I start to make crackling sounds into my phone”

Moral of the story?

I answer my phone and chat with folks even when I know the ending….feel free to give me a call!

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